Kane is married and moved out. This is just a final post to re-cap the experience:
Living with Kane for a month was more awesome than I thought it would be, and my expectations were so high, it is unbelievable that reality surpassed them.
The best way I can describe it was: Kane is $%@!ing awesome to live with.*
Let me be real for a moment:
Its been difficult to deal with Kane leaving. The withdrawal has been rough. Opiod detox takes 48 hours and alcohol detox takes 72 hours…we have no idea how long Kane-detox will go on. Once you become dependent on him, the addiction may never go away entirely. I contacted some of his old roommates who expressed they were going through similar issues since Kane’s departure two months ago. Josh Farris had to take a leave of absence from his job because he spent 178 hours locked in the bathroom sitting on the floor of the shower with the cold water running. Lance started cutting himself with a razor blade.
In a desperate attempt to avoid self-mutilation I’ve been paying Darren to dress up like Kane and walk around the house spontaneously bursting into a fake British accent and reading KHQOTDs off little note-cards I wrote for him. Its working out pretty well.
I just hope that Kane knows that if something awful and mysterious ever happened to Lyssa** he could come back and live with me.
* This is NOT a swear word. It is a word that has simply not been invented yet.
** Like someone put a packet of that stuff you get in shoe-boxes that says “DO NOT EAT” into her drink and she was unable to make it to the hospital in time. Or there was a carbon monoxide leak from her stove while Kane was working late…or whatever.